Aries: They say the little things are profound, the stars and I say the little things should get off their high horse. You too shorty.
Taurus: Your hidden strength for tolerating things will be required when an opponent of unearthly annoyance mentions “Raw Water.“
Gemini: Thats just crazy enough to work Gemini! If chickens can life for a full 24 hours without a head, whats stopping you from trying?
Cancer: Your boss needs your help in a big way! Fuck em!
Leo: Your plans will go smoothly after you have shaved off all their hair and coated them in Vaseline.
Virgo: At the moment, you are a sponge ready to soak up new ideas and experiences. Like a regular human but made of a sponge. Hope you’ve learned your lesson about angering the sponge wizard.
Libra: Be the first person to speak up in the face of unfairness! Either all of you are granted access to the sewer dimension, or none of you are!
Scorpio: Watch out for confusion, you might think you’re speaking clearly while in reality, you’re actually just the mouth of a river of incomprehensible syllables.
Ophiuchus: You can make people happy without even trying. Just use your beam attack.
Sagittarius: Your eye for detail may come in handy if you would let it out of the hand carved box covered in protection sigils that it sits inside, floating.
Capricorn: Its easy for you to see the best in everyone now that you have an endoscope. Make sure you only use it for good.
Aquarius: Don’t let a single “no“ ruin your experience. Rejection is normal, but it is something that can be worked through. Necromancy is not a healthy coping mechanism.
Pisces: Remember Pisces, emotional obstacles have weak physical defense and you can just punch the living shit out of em.
adj.:Happening by a lucky chance (Merriam Webster)